(The following email was sent at various times to assorted personnel at UNM, the mayor's office, and the local judiciary. Since any reply would be an acknowledgement of the rank mediocrity that passes for civic reponsibility in America nowadays, there was predictably no response from any quarter. Copyright ©2002 by Kristofer Dale, all rights reserved.)
To: Judge Judith Nakamura
Subject: Amen, sister!
"Metro Judges Improve Traffic Ticket Process"
I've noticed you've been on a crusade of late, and your name rang a (school) bell. It's been awhile since you bounced off my long tall back, one bygone day coming out of the Cibola High School music wing. Suffice it to say, you weren't the first person, nor the last, to call me an "SOB", the latest being a stuffy radiation oncologist from Vancouver, but that's a different story. For what it's worth, I admired your temerity, playing those damn sand blocks for Mr. Christian. He was one of a kind, despite his limitations. Anyway, that was then, this is now. A few years ago, I myself experienced firsthand the "joys" of traffic court, whereupon I prevailed, sort of, paying only court costs for the "priviledge" of stating my case. More recently, I had occasion to communicate certain sentiments to the mayor et al. concerning the very subject in which you have taken such abiding interest. Forthwith, I share them with you, with additional commentary thereafter...
Being an Open Letter to Mayor Martin "Speedbump" Chavez...
"To Project and Swerve"
When brainless bumbling bureaucracy, in its infinite lack of wisdom, seeks to remind us yet again, as it has throughout history, that the mediocrity of the many all too often outweighs the creativity of the few, most are willing to shrug their shoulders and "tsk tsk" themselves hastily on their humble way. I am not so inclined. The rank stupidity associated with such events propels me to add my personal Voice in the Wilderness to those precious few others who doggedly continue to pay attention despite the glaringly obvious drawbacks of holding Society up to a strong light for a closer look. Allow me to set the stage for this Charming Production starring the Mindless Minions of Justice vs. Light, Love, and Laughter.
The Star of the Show, one Celia Dale, Bravo Award-winning choreographer, teacher, ballet and modern dancer, and inspiration to hundreds, if not thousands, of Albuquerque's children during her lifetime dedication to dance, theater, and the performing arts in general, has an almost human foible. After all, every Tragedy must have a Fatal Flaw to be completely effective. Celia often rushes (gasp) when she is behind in her constantly busy schedule teaching at UNM, her own dance school, another academy, and a local day care, a tendancy that has caught the notice of the traffic gestapo on more than one occasion. Indeed, her "voluntary" contributions to local "law enfarcement" coffers have been considerable over the years as a result, and yet, this is not the Heart of the Matter, only a bit of background. Unlike the Legislators who pass the myopic laws that thicken the plot of this Humble Tale of Woe, Celia can be granted no accomodation, no hospice from exigency, perhaps because her faults simply aren't Tragic Enough to be Noteworthy. She doesn't drink, do drugs, smoke, or molest children, vices so readily glossed over by Chaste Authority when they involve Important People, as when some Political Figure is forgiven multiple instances of DUI, Captains of Industry and Members of the Executive Branch perjure themselves in Senate Hearings with relative impunity, or the proclivities of Religious Leaders become the subject of tabloid headlines, by way of modest example. However, such sloppily varnished hypocrisy has some interesting consequences for the rest of us, as you will soon see.
Every two years, Hayden School of Ballet holds a public recital for those of its students wishing to participate, an event that has taken place at Rodey Theater, in the UNM Fine Arts Complex, ever since Celia purchased the business from its co-founder and namesake, the venerable Lucy Hayden. An opportunity for horizon-broadening experiences for young and old alike, these full-fledged thematic dance recitals are a considerable Labor of Love for all concerned, not to mention the ongoing expense of bringing the students to classes, rehearsals, costume fittings and the like. Add to that the great effort of creating unique choreography, tailored to the needs and capabilities of each class, yet tied together conceptually by engaging, artistic plots, and you have nothing short of a Rather Big Deal. A culmination of hopes, dreams, and hard work for teachers, students and their families alike, such recitals place a great deal of pressure upon those responsible for weaving the myriad details and inevitable pitfalls into an enjoyable whole for all.
The scene now shifts, uneasily, to the UNM campus on the glorious afternoon of June 1, 2002, where our Heroine is approaching the theater too rapidly for the refined tastes of Supporting Role "co-ed" cops Gung and Ho (the names have been changed to protect the zealous), due to the fact that Celia is, you guessed it, somewhat behind schedule. Being quick on their butts, these stalwart Defenders of the Realm leap to the occasion, in appropriate Protect and Serve fashion, reigning in the passing Menace to Society so the rest of us might sleep snugly in our comfortable beds at night, lulled by the knowledge that Justice has Prevailed upon our Delicate Sensibilities once again. Ah, such a delicious alignment of cosmically comic events, conspiring quietly in the background until the ripe moment finally approaches, and the Bitter Fruit of Irony springs forth in Fool Regalia.
Lest we get ahead of ourselves, Dear Reader, I must mention that some weeks earlier our Beleaguered Heroine ran afoul of Lore and Odor in yet another traffic-related incident that resulted inauspiciously in the Issuance of a Citation requiring Celia to present Proof of Insurance to Metrocourt, Inc(apacitated). Despite the pressures of a schedule that had, in the short span of three months, included, but not been limited to:
a) producing, choreographing, designing, staging, and performing in the Contemporary Dance Ensemble Spring Concert at South Broadway Cultural Center
b) choreographing and staging Sheherazade at the Kimo Theater
c) helping "launch" the Tara's Academy of Dance Spring Recital "voyage" at Little Theater
d) moving her household
e) all the while maintaining a 21 class per week teaching schedule, preparing her students for the many challenges they will meet both in Dance and in Life
...nevertheless, Celia somehow manages to find the additional time it takes to obtain the required insurance certificate and promptly wends her merry way Downtown. Unfortunately, her reception is less than satisfactory, as she is told that her "paperwork" is not available, and since the System can't be bothered to accept a photocopy of her documentation for future reference, the only recourse she has is to "come back later". Due to the extenuating circumstances itemized above, our Heroine, unaccountably, neglects to make the repeat journey in a timely manner, evoking a knee-jerk response from the roundly beaten dead horse known as the Justice System, namely a Bench Warrant for Her Arrest. This engaging legal vehicle, every bit as blind as Lady Justice herself, carries with it the assumption that the Thin Blue Line betwixt Us and Them is incapable of making any valid determinations on its own, relying instead on a One Size Fits All paradigm that presumably provides job security for these various parasitic elements of society that feed on us so voraciously in the guise of Keeping the Peace.
Alas, we are now ready for the "Funny Thing" that "Happened on the Way to the Forum", whereby officer "Ho", in keeping with the much-lauded presumption that everyone is Innocent Until Proven Guilty, hazards the carefully considered opinion that our Heroine is Resisting Arrest, presumably for having the Unmitigated Gall to suggest that there might be a Big Mistake, since Celia is a UNM dance teacher who is preparing shortly to stage and perform in a show at Rodey Theater, rented for the occasion on behalf of Hayden School of Ballet families, with perhaps upwards of 300 or more positive character witnesses within throwing distance, patiently waiting for the show to begin. With compounding comments, to the effect that if HER daughter was Celia's student SHE would be EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED, volunteered by officer "Ho", the Fugitive From Justice is dutifully apprehended, and the Getaway Car is impounded for the entire weekend. Our Shining Example is carted away, wearing the complimentary "free bracelets" considerately provided to such Unruly Miscreants as Yours Truly, in full view of several parents and students eagerly entreating otherwise, for some Enforced Meditation upon the Profound Folly of trying to Please All of the People, All of the Time.
Ah, fear not, Dear Reader, the love and respect Celia earns daily from her Co-starring teachers, technical staff, students, and their parents, is, thankfully, more than a match for those many drones who apparently must go insensibly about their business under the misdirection of Oafishuldumb. In Time Honored Fashion, the Show Must Go On, even without Celia's steady, if unorthodox, hand at the helm, and justNESS is nonetheless, if somewhat oddly, served in the offing...
Good for you, Albuquerque! Bravo!! Bravissimo!!!
At risk of seeming pertinent, I leave you with some closing thoughts. Isn't it interesting, that the police are invested with the right to use deadly force against us, at their discretion, yet they aren't allowed any leeway when blind justice stumbles over the unwary citizen. There is an equally interesting bit of conceit that crops up now and then, an assumption that America somehow triumphed when the Berlin Wall came down. The hollowness of this charade is exemplified by this situation, wherein several hundred law-abiding citizens were collectively denied that quintessentially American liberty, to pursue happiness with their families and friends, denied the pleasure of seeing their children performing with their mentor, simply because one exceptional individual among them failed to make a SECOND ATTEMPT to produce a paltry piece of paper within the proscribed time...
